


Catch Feelings

by Kattwyllie



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29538825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kattwyllie/pseuds/Kattwyllie
Relationships: Alexandra Cabot (L&O: SVU) & Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Catch Feelings

Alex Cabot was a force to be reckoned with, she always had been, and always would be. She was also impeccably hard to say no to, especially the second she flashed you that half smirk of a grin, gleam evident in her eye. Which made Alex Cabot become one of the bigger problems in your life the more each day went on.

The two of you had met at a bar in Midtown one night, one that was halfway between a pretending to be classy lounge and your regular neighbour hood pub. Both of you simply winding down from your weeks at work you’d ended up sitting beside each other at the bar and had gotten to talking. Naturally, one thing lead to another and you ended up tangled in your bed sheets exploring each other’s bodies until the wee hours of the morning. The sun was nearly beginning to peak past the horizon when Alex realized, leaving her phone number and a brief kiss before dashing out the door.

Things continued casually, whenever you were both free, you’d meet up and fuck. The first few times there was at least a little bit of texting, some flirtation, meeting up at a bar near one of your apartments first. Then it morphed into meeting at home, bottle of wine in hand as a greeting, not long after that, it became a quick text to see if the other was home and free before a string of sexual escapades.

Not long after that, was when it became a problem.

Sure, you’d had your fair share of friends with benefits in the past, but there was just something too entirely intriguing about Alex. You wanted to know her more, you wanted more from her, for the two of you, you cursed yourself for managing to catch feelings. You wouldn’t say you were in too deep, but you also didn’t want to risk ruining what little time you did have with her, and lose out on the great sex by admitting it to her. You were majorly conflicted to say the least.

*

You’d barely popped open a fresh bottle of wine, your first sip just hitting your tongue when there was a sudden brash knock on your door. Sighing you checked your phone, there was nothing there so it was either a neighbour, or Alex. Your assumptions on the second one were right, pulling open the door to reveal the blonde.

“Hey.” She greeted, stepping past you into the apartment, kicking off her shoes and dropping her bag into a spare chair, “today was absolute fucking garbage. Please tell me you have wine?”

“Help yourself.” You gestured to the freshly poured glass you’d all but taken a sip of. She muttered a quick thanks, swiping it off the counter to gulp back a mouthful.

“I just don’t understand why the squad’s being such fucking idiots about this! It’s like they’ve never worked a day in their lives before. They know they need to go through the right channels if they want things to hold up in court and then they get mad at me when it’s not admissible! Maybe if you did your damn job right my case wouldn’t go down the fucking toilet!” She swigged back another gulp of wine, turning to you and you half sighed.

“Did you really come all the way over here to talk things out about your shitty day?”

“You’re right.” She put the wine glass down, “we were just having sex, I would never call it love.”

You didn’t miss the extra emphasis put on the word never and honestly, it hit your heart like a fucking dagger. Part of you had hoped that maybe Alex might have been hiding her emotions behind her stony exterior, that maybe she’d start to warm up if you mentioned it, or tried to be softer with her. But with that, you knew there was no hope, ‘ _remember why you said this was the last time’_ you thought to yourself, lost in thought for a moment, Alex’s voice bringing you out of your trance.

“Y/n? You okay?”

“What?” You shook out of it, “yeah, sorry.” You flashed her a smile.

“Good.” She smirked, “I need you in working form…you know how much I like that thing you do with your tongue.”

You laughed, though it died on your lips at the warmth of her hand cupping your cheek, tugging you to her in a fiery kiss. As much as you wanted to push her away, to tell her that you couldn’t, that it wasn’t fair, the feeling of her body on yours was too much. You knew exactly what those hands could do, what her mouth was capable of, how perfectly sweet she tasted, and how weak the little whimpers she let out made you. You could indulge one last time, couldn’t you? What could it hurt?

*

Alex lay panting beside you, her arm thrown over her eyes as she came down from the third orgasm you’d given her (not that she hadn’t returned the favour more than enough). A piece of you wanted to reach out to her, tug her to you, encourage her to curl around your body while you played with the wispy loose pieces of hair. It was as if on its own accord your hand moved closer to hers, pinkies barely an inch apart, less than a second later her hand moved to rest on her stomach. Even with her eyes shut it was as if she knew, trying to shut you down before you even had the chance to open your mouth. You sighed, squeezing your eyes shut, begging the tears trying to sting their way into them to stay out. Swinging your legs off the bed you padded to the bathroom for an excuse for a moment alone, wrapping your robe around you. Maybe she would leave while you were in there, escape without you having to say goodbye.

Unfortunately when you cracked the door open she was still standing at the foot of the bed, clasping her bra on behind her before pulling back on her dress.

“Feeling better?” You asked, daring your voice to not crack, attempting to sound confident as you spoke.

“Oh you know I am sweetheart.” She smirked, kissing you chastely. 

The pet name washed over you like a bucket of ice water, chilling you straight down to the bone, she couldn’t possibly know what she was doing, could she? You followed her back out to the main room, you’d at least have to lock the door after she left. Watching nearly timidly as she slid into her coat with such grace you couldn’t imagine a human to even possess before stepping into her heels and picking up her bag. Her body moved so fluidly it was completely opposite from when she’d arrived, agitated and brash, roughly behaving, not caring what or who she hurt. Now her movements were like a well choreographed dance, elegant and peaceful, a soft smile on her face as she swung open the door, turning back to you as she stepped through it. You moved to hold it open, leaning against the frame.

“Thanks.” She pecked your cheek, “I’ll call ya.” Just as she made it a couple of steps you called out,

“Alex?” You instantly winced, regretting even having the courage to say anything, but how could you let her walk away so blissfully unaware when you felt like you were about to burst? She turned back to you, taking a small step back toward the door, a brow raised in question. “Uhm…listen…I’m totally down to meet up if you’ve had a shitty day and need to vent or something, maybe, just…at a bar?” You grimaced, “or like, grab a bite?” What you wanted to say was ‘ _I can’t do this anymore or I’m going to fall completely in love with you’_ but how was that going to help this situation?

“If you’re seeing someone else and don’t want me showing up out of the blue anymore I can make sure to call first?” She offered up and you tried not to take to obvious of a huge breath.

“No..uh..that’s not it. I…I wanna be your friend. I really do, but _just_ your friend.” The last part was so quiet she had to strain to hear it. Maybe part of you thought if you didn’t actually say it, she wouldn’t believe it, that she’d understand and catch you in the worlds most passionate kiss and tell you she’d been dying to tell you how much she loved you. 

But this was real life, not some overly dramatic romance movie.

“Oh.” She stalled slightly, considering the mind blowing sex you’d just had she was honestly surprised, “ohkay…I’ll see ya around.” 

With a small smile she turned, making her way to the elevator. As the doors slid shut you could have sworn you heard a whispered ‘ _fuck_ ’ uttered from her lips, and honestly, you didn’t want to know if it was because she felt like she’d fucked up something potentially amazing, or if she was just bummed to lose a fuck buddy. The only thought you had as you shut your apartment door, leaning your forehead against it was ‘ _I don’t know how to forget you’._


End file.
